Love it or despise it, with over 100 million copies sold, it’s a best seller but that’s never persuaded me to read the books. I’ve only ever read excerpts, in articles, and believe me, that was more than enough. Needless to say, my desire to see the film is non-existent. In a world where almost anything goes, this is just the latest craze that has got the world buzzing with sexual glee. As you’ve probably guessed from the title, I’m talking about “Mr. Grey” and more specifically, what he does in his spare time. Fifty Shades of Filth, I mean Grey (sorry, not sorry) is about to rock the world – again. This time, it’s in full color and with high-definition cinematic clarity – God help us all. Sadly, I’m fully aware that I can’t protect my children from all the hype and erotic hysteria that will ensue, but I can prepare them by giving them some Biblical truths. So, here’s what I want my children to know about Fifty Shades of Grey.

This type of “love” is not love at all

BDSM is an acronym for bondage and discipline (BD), sadism and masochism (SM). The goal of BDSM relationships is to take on complementary, but unequal, roles (role-play like master/slave, officer/prisoner) in order to create a dominant/submissive situation. Men and women who practice BDSM often get aroused from pain and humiliation (both receiving and inflicting). This does not sound like love at all. It’s actually abuse.

The Bible does not explicitly talk about it

So, that makes it ok, right? No. The Bible says that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4). Scripture doesn’t explicitly say what a husband and wife are or are not allowed to do sexually. God has given married couples some freedom in regards to what takes place in the “marriage bed.” Does this freedom include tight leather costumes, physical bondage, and role-playing? Like I said, there is nothing in the Bible that explicitly restricts such activities. However, we must use godly wisdom and allow the Holy Spirit to lead us into a full understanding of what God requires from us. Throughout the Bible, God instructs His people to be “holy” and to honor His name – bringing Him glory. Do you really think BDSM was part of God’s plan? What part of BDSM honors God?

It doesn’t matter if it’s consensual

If a husband gets aroused by hurting his wife, or vice versa, even if she wants it, we call this a problem. Even between consenting adults, the need to dominate and/or be dominated in a relationship, whether sexual or non-sexual, reveals a mind in need of being redeemed by God through Jesus Christ. The need to dominate and the desire to be dominated are both physically and spiritually unhealthy. Jesus Christ died to set us free from sin and its consequences (Luke 4:18). Jesus Christ always demonstrated servant-leadership, not dominance, in His relationships with others (John 13).

It goes against God’s original design

Sex is a physical expression of love, intimacy, affection, passion, gentleness, selflessness, and mutual commitment between a man and woman within the security of marriage. Sex is the expression of a married couple becoming “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). To bring pain, humiliation, or degradation into the marriage distorts God’s original design and perverts the sanctity of this blessed union.

It doesn’t reflect a Holy Spirit-filled life

We cannot overlook the “darkness” of BDSM which a Christian should have no part in. We must also “discern the spirit” – what is the root of BDSM? The activities involved in BDSM are indicative of Satanism/paganism and are definitively not Christ-like in any sense. Since Adam and Eve disobeyed God, we have always had a proclivity for the wrong things. For many, the fact that it seems wrong could be part of its allure. Receiving sexual pleasure through the giving or receiving of pain is not something that “children of light” should be partakers of. We are given a clear warning against “lustful pleasures” and “sins like these” in Galatians 5:19-23.

It’s yet another attack against Christianity and the Bible

In Fifty Shades Of Grey, James Dornan plays the role of Christian Grey, a charismatic businessman who secretly practices BDSM. Keep in mind the progressively rebellious nature of man due to sin, the current state of society, and who is the “god of this world” (2 Corinthians 4:4). Do you think it’s coincidence that the protagonist is called Christian Grey? Christian – really? Also, why does he secretly practice BDSM? Why so secret Christian?

The movie is basically big budget pornography

Pornography distorts and perverts sex whilst degrading women to mere objects of sexual satisfaction. Viewers of pornography are misinformed which creates unattainable expectations in real life relationships. I think it’s safe to say that pornography has not made this world a better place. Fifty Shades is a Hollywood movie based on an erotic novel, rated R, and it’s about BDSM. This is not a positive contribution to society. I’m anticipating many negative reports regarding BDSM as a result of this exposure.

Your mother and I don’t do it

That’s right, your mum and I do not engage in BDSM and we have the best, most satisfying marriage relationship and sex ever. (Yes, I said it kids. I said it).

…and finally

As a parent, I am not naive to the fact that my children will be exposed to all kinds of immorality. One of the perils of the digital age is that content such as BDSM is easily accessible. It is also one of the many sinful activities that is becoming universally accepted. I pray for my children daily, asking God to guide them and give us (my wife and I) the wisdom to lead them to the right path (Proverbs 22:6), teaching them to present their bodies as a living sacrifice…not conformed to this world but transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:1-2). At this point, when all is said and done, we must trust God to lead them in the path of righteousness for His name sake (Psalm 23:3).


What will you tell your children?